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Hospitality and Community: The Heartbeat of Turkish Culture

Turkish hospitality is legendary. It’s common for Turks to invite guests into their homes and treat them like family. This sense of community and warmth often means that boundaries, as Americans understand them, are more fluid. Don’t be surprised if your new Turkish friend insists you stay at their home for days, or even weeks. In Turkey, hospitality knows no time limits, and guests are often considered a blessing. Prepare yourself for an abundance of tea and baklava – it’s easier to accept than refuse.

Physical Boundaries: Closer Than You Think

Personal space is a concept that varies significantly around the world. In Turkey, people stand closer to each other in public spaces. Whether it’s in a bustling market or a crowded bus, physical proximity is less of a concern. Don’t be surprised if you don’t hear an “excuse me” when someone’s shoulder brushes up against yours; it’s often inevitable given the crowded spaces.

A Turkish friend’s first visit to a Target in the U.S. was a revelation. He was amazed at the cavernous, 2 meter wide aisles and how people would say “excuse me” even when they were several feet away, not even close to touching anyone. His initial reaction was bewilderment; he didn’t know how to respond. What does “excuse me” even mean? “I’m getting closer to you.” “I might be in your way in a moment.” “I’m about to walk next to you.” In this context, it’s definitely not asking someone if they can pass, or apologizing for being in their personal space. After it happened repeatedly, he realized this peculiar “politeness” was the norm in America- a norm that he would never fathom as neither politeness or rudeness- just odd. We need to take a step back from our subjective moral compass – what seems extreme or uncomfortable in one culture might be completely normal in another.

Emotional Boundaries: Wear Your Heart on Your Sleeve

Turks are generally open and expressive with their emotions. Conversations often quickly become personal. Questions about your family, personal life, or even your salary might come up much sooner than you’re used to. Turks often ask the questions everyone in the West is thinking but too afraid to ask. While this can be startling at first, it’s usually a sign of genuine interest and friendliness rather than nosiness. Imagine your nosy aunt multiplied by ten; that’s a casual chat in Turkey.

Material Boundaries: What’s Mine is Yours

Sharing is a significant part of Turkish culture. Borrowing and lending items among friends and family is common, and the formalities that Americans might expect are often absent. If a neighbor asks to borrow something, they might not even specify when they’ll return it, and that’s perfectly normal. Compared to the West, Turkish culture feels much more genuine when they say, “what’s mine is yours.” They really mean it, unlike when you reluctantly hand over your favorite book, hoping it comes back in one piece.

Family Boundaries: The More, The Merrier

Family is at the core of Turkish society. Extended families often live close to each other and gather frequently. It’s expected that family members are deeply involved in each other’s lives. This involvement can seem intense to someone used to more independent living, but can be a beautiful expression of solidarity and support.

Generally speaking (remember, these are all generally speaking things) the relationship between a mother and her son is particularly intense in Turkey. Families keep in touch more often, so don’t be alarmed if your new Turkish partner is on the phone with his family every day. However, you might start to worry if it’s several times a day. If you ever hear him say, “Mom, I need to call you back, I’m in the middle of dinner with my girlfriend,” consider it a small victory.

Financial Boundaries: Money Talks

Discussing finances is not as taboo in Turkey as it is in the U.S. It’s normal for friends and family to ask about your salary or financial situation. Financial support among family members is also common, so don’t be surprised if you’re offered money or asked for financial help. This openness about finances can shock many Westerners, who are often very protective of their financial information. If only we could loosen up a little bit, think about how much good it would do compared to all the harm holding tightly onto your finances can cause. Who knows, you might even enjoy the occasional “Hey, can I borrow twenty bucks?” from your cousin.

Time Boundaries: Flexibility is Key

Time is a flexible concept in Turkey. Being punctual is appreciated, but there’s a more relaxed attitude towards time. Spontaneous visits are a regular occurrence, and it’s not unusual for friends or family to show up unannounced. This can be a delightful surprise or a minor inconvenience, depending on your perspective.

If you have strict values regarding time, living in Turkey will likely require some adjustment. There’s a certain art to balancing flexibility with your own expectations—think of it as developing a superpower: elastic time management.

Workplace Boundaries: A Blend of Formal and Informal

In Turkish workplaces, the hierarchy is often respected, but personal relationships between colleagues are also valued. It’s common to socialize with coworkers outside of work and develop close-knit bonds, which can blur the lines between professional and personal boundaries. Just don’t be surprised if your boss invites you to their cousin’s wedding after your first week.

Embrace the Differences, Find Balance

Understanding and adapting to these cultural differences can greatly enhance your experience in Turkey. While boundaries might be different, the underlying values of respect and kindness remain the same. We see in Western cultures, especially in the U.S., the emphasis on clear and firm boundaries in order to protect individual privacy and autonomy- and we also see how isolated people feel. Striking a balance between the two approaches can enrich your experience both at home and abroad.

At Fish in Water, our goal is to equip you with the tools to experience Turkey authentically, with minimal misunderstandings along the way. Accepting differences in boundaries is key to this. You don’t need to change who you are, but understanding that boundaries might look different from what you’re used to is essential for a rewarding experience and truly connecting with locals and their culture. Questions? Ask away.

Want cliché-free, culturally respectful trip assistance? Travel Blueprint is for you.

Photographs in this blog post are all by the talented Camille McOuat, who has a whole collection on Turkey’s bromances.